Feedback Loop

This week has proved my mind works like a toaster from the 1990s. A time before they put that nifty "ABORT" button on toasters. Honestly, this never made sense to me. Who would ever be so indecisive to say, "wait... I take it back, toast was a bad idea"? People who can make up their mind put the bread in and wait for the cooking process to come to fruition. This is how my brain has been acting this week. No "ABORT" button. 


This week started with sermon preparation. For those of you who just read the blogs and not my bio, I am an assistant pastor at a small church in Florida. (Come to think of it, do I even have a bio? Might be my fault you don't know this then... my bad!) I'll be speaking this next Sunday for the morning and evening service, filling in for the senior pastor while he's away. 

I'm not sure how other people feel about public speaking. I've heard that it's one of the most common and powerfully gripping fears that people face. I also know that sharing faith or religious views is high up there on uncomfortable topics. You could easily imagine some sort of huge weight hanging over my head just waiting to fall and crush my tiny brain out of the fear and dread of this doubly uncomfortable task... and I have to do it twice in one day!


But that's not the case. I rather enjoy the opportunity to share what God puts on my heart. The chance to expound on Scripture in a way that others may not have realized otherwise. And I relish the chance to impact the people who listen with information that can create life-altering change!


That slice of bread was in slot one this week. A nice piece of white bread; nothing fancy really. I'm still waiting for the cooking process to be done with that one. I'll butter it once it's finished and hope I don't overburn it. But I know it's sure to satisfy most people. 


The other slice that's been inserted into my brain this week, however, was quite the opposite. Whole grain wheat, filled with fiber, some sort of nuts and possibly baked with babies. (At least that fact would've proven to be less provocative...)


See, what you need to know is that this blogging experience is rather new to me. It's quite a different task from other writing. Yes, I'm sharing ideas and thoughts, but with an audience in mind. I want my words to be clear, meaningful, shining like silver and just as attractive. I want your mind to say "I like this guy. I think I will subscribe to this blog. It makes my day feel full of glitter and rainbows and I hate my family less." Ok, maybe I'm dreaming too largely here, but I still have my audience in mind. 


But blogging is only a small part of my internet literature experience. Like millions of others, I have a facebook account and take gratuitous advantage of the NOTEs application. This week I ventured out a doosey of a thought on a subject that continues to be a boiling point in America and elsewhere in the world.

I'm not going into detail about it here, but if you care to view what I've wrote and wish to comment, I gladly accept feedback. I ned to warn you, it's controversial in nature and I definitely DON'T take a popular stance. If you wish, you can view this note here. 


I always brace myself for controversial statements because I know the immense amount of backlash and passionate, emotion filled, ALL CAPS rage responses they can register. This post surprised me because, although it currently has over 40 comments (a good portion of those are my responses to comments), none of these were derrogatory or hateful. It's so rare to see honest, intelligent, constructive conversation on an internet thread anymore!


I'm not new to internet debating. Because of my faith, I have ventured to many an Atheist site and debated Christianity (and subsequently metaphysics, morality, social science, psychology, and quantum mechanics... all of which are a little beyond my expertise...). Everyone on these forums were incredibly intelligent and, admittedly, much more educated than I was. (I was maybe only 17 when I first started on these forums.) 


With all this massive intelligence and enlightenment you would think people would be able to express what they considered true knowledge with grace and compassion to the "inferior intelligence," a nice way of calling someone "stupid" that was never an adopted in these forums. No, people used intelligence to pound bruises on their opponents head. Talking to anyone on these forums felt rougher than 10 rounds of sparring with sumo wrestlers. Incredibly, if they couldn't counter your argument, they would resort to pointing out your grammatical and/or spelling errors (it's the internet...) and belittle your intelligence that way. "You must be wrong, you can't even spell supercalifragilisticexpealadocious..." (Pretty sure I just goofed it again... sorry)


What I wish, more than anything else in the world, is that people in this time would learn HOW to argue or debate a point correctly. I know going into a debate that there is NO hope of convincing the person I debate with. Not my job. I'm only supposed to present my side with clarity and finality for the benefit of those who observe. If I make MORE sense than the other person's point of view, I have won. But it's no use winning if you cut down another person, invalidate their intelligence and make yourself look like a bloodthirsty jerk! These are things I wish people would learn when debating:


1. Respect your opponent. Debating is supposed to be the civilized way of expressing the reasons for two differing points of view. Decorum and respect are crucial components to understanding both sides. 


2. Don't resort to name calling/defamation. This is an extension of respect. When someone makes a mistake or an error, what's the point of making them look stupid? They're not stupid. If you truly believe that every opinion has value, then show it by allowing someone to make a mistake here and there. We're not perfect, and we're all here to learn. 


3. Argue on precision. I have been in so many arguments where everything, including the kitchen sink, was thrown into relevant subject matter. This caused the logic behind another person's opinion to flip flop... but when someone thinks winning is all about trumping the other side, there's no hope. Let your own argument hinge on something substantial and then point out the flaws that may be present in your oponent's argument. Don't go off on rabit trails that elude your main point!


4. Objectivity. Unless you are God, or have heard directly from him, you don't know everything. (If you did, you would know it's pointless to argue against objective truth.) Finding something objective to base an argument off of is crucial. Because there are so few things that people agree are "objective," (i.e. God, Bible, Human law, morality...) leave room for the possibility that you are wrong. Logic is a powerful tool, but in and of itself it leaves room for grave error. If logic is based off of a false assumption, all conclusions have the possibility (and probability) of being false. 


5. The most powerful thing. Ask questions. The greatest way to show people their error is not to bash them over the head with absolute, unbridled, rage inspired "truth." Yes, sometimes people need to hear it before they do something incredibly dumb... but in the realm of debate and expressing ideas, a simple question can get their own mind to consider the weaknesses and glaring pitfalls in their argument. We learn by examination. Help them examine their argument as you examine your own. 


If we could all learn to argue correctly, I think even the most disagreeable conflicts could be sorted out for the betterment of everyone. Some may agree to disagree and wind up on separate ends of the map (it happens). But civility in expression of opinion is what separates us in our desires from how animals express themselves... Biting, scratching and poo-slinging... sigh... sounds like congress... 


What about you? What's your least favorite part of arguing/debating?