Bring me BACK

Today didn't start out like most days. This morning I woke up with what I lovingly call a Frustration Hangover. I went to bed so flustered and discouraged that the rainclouds actually followed me from unconsciousness back into the waking world as the sun rose. Rarely have I EVER been so down in the dumps that my mood wasn't able to bounce back after a good night's rest.

What made last night terrible? The fact is, nothing immensely tragic or horrifying took place. No one punched me in the nose. No one stole my car. No one murdered kittens in front of me. I didn't trip and fall or embarrass myself in front of the lady-folk. It was just one single, tiny, insignificant straw that broke the proverbial camel's back... and I didn't realize there was so much piled on.

I know you're curious so here's the long and short of it - I moved to Texas 3 short months ago to undertake a new chapter in life. I'm working with the most amazing church right now but only PART TIME. Anyone who's lived more than 3 weeks in the real world knows that - unless you have rich relatives or personal hedge fund - part time work doesn't cut it in terms of survival. Money issues have been a major stressor in the past few weeks. Wait! There's more.

Couple the hours issue with the nature of my line of work. I'm a pastor, it's in my spiritual DNA to put forth  the major efforts of my mind, body and spirit to the church and commit myself to God and His people. Part-time means that I don't even have enough time in the week to make the type of connections and efforts that I would WANT to do in ministry. Meaning, I don't feel that I'm giving 100% because... well... I'm not.

Here's the crazy part. Listen, I know that God provides. He says so in his word. I've heard the testimonies of God's blessings and amazingness. I've lived it, heck, I've preached it. But even still, I found myself immensely discouraged. Especially this next part.

I believed that God gives all of us gifts to use. One of my gifts is that (for the most part) if I can see it, then I can make it happen. Meaning, I'm VERY good at arts and crafts. Pssssst, check out my pics on Facebook and instagram. 



I'd made this halo2 replica sniper rifle to sell to a person on EBay. I REALLY could've used the money right now and spent quite a bit of free time to create. BUT, got a final coat of paint on it and pulled it up to take a look... and... cracked the barrel off... Tears of pain and anguish...

That's why my night ended in complete dismay. Hard work poured down the drain and a chance for cash set back considerably. I woke up this morning in need. Not in need of money or stress relief but greatly in need of renewed faith and encouragement.

And that's exactly what I found in the family that I have at church. I received a word from my brother in Christ that reminded me of God's goodness and faithfullness. I already know God is good and remind myself of the same passages that were shared. But there's something strangely powerful about hearing of God's goodness. God also told someone to encourage me randomly today. It was just a small gesture but it meant the world to me this day. 

And so, just twenty-four hours later, my entire perception has been realigned. My attitude has been refreshed and my faith strengthened just a little bit more.